Expert: Bananas could disappear in 10 years
From this article we can glean several important facts, each more alarming than the last.
1. The banana hasn’t had sex in years.
2. The banana lacks genetic diversity and could go extinct.
3. There is an International Network for the Improvement of Banana and Plantain.
4. It’s in France.
5. It’s headed by a man named Frison, which (according to Babelfish) means “clippings” in French.
Drunken birds fly into windows
Now, when they start covering themselves in shaving cream and leaving body prints, we’ll really know something’s up.
Or does this look like it’s going to end badly?
(from Snowmobilers enjoy last unrestricted winter)
Panda porn to cure bedtime blues
Finally, Gigi had something to supplement the issues of Playpanda he had hidden under his bed.
Section: CNN’s Science & Space headlines
Headline: Family keeps pet eel in bath, for 33 years
Image: 
ABCNews NewsFlash currently includes the following headline… Mr. Blackwell Releases Worsted Dressed List. Presumably they mean worst dressed, not dressed in worsted (which is a fabric made from wool yarn).
Perhaps I’m wrong. I’ll be interested to see if they publish a denim dressed list and a chiffon dressed list.
ABCNews runs randomized ads alongside their articles. When I opened the article Love Triangle Leads to Ax Attack, I got the following ad.
Doesn’t look good for Michael Vaughn. (Amusingly, the poor guy who was attacked by his wife’s boyfriend was also named Vaughn.)
Community bailing out school district includes this picture of a community meeting in Longmont, Colorado. As Colorado State Treasurer Mike Coffman sets up his podium in the back of the room and begins delivering his address to a blank wall, Silver Creek junior Matthew begins to develop a theory about why the school district is in such dire financial condition.
Wonder what the planet is up to these days? From the crack image editing team at CNN.com come the following helpful visual aids…
This is taken from the article titled Study: Global warming migrations and seems to depict the overheated earth moving to some more temperate region of space, complete with gigantic icebergs.
And this is taken from the article titled College campuses going green, but might be better titled BPOC (Big Planet on Campus). It’s not clear whether Earth is actually attending school or whether it’s just hanging about in the hopes of picking up cute co-eds at the next fraternity party.
I just flew in from Knoxville last night (and boy, are my arms tired), after spending a lovely Christmas week with the in-laws. Lots of pie, lots of loot, lots of fun.
Now I’m back at work, trying to remember what it is I do for a living.
It’s clear to me that I’m not going to be able to get anything of substance done until I’ve had a chance to catch up on Dave Barry’s column, browse the news headlines, and end my nearly-month-long hiatus from blogging. Two down, one to go.
Since I read Dave Barry’s 2002 Gift Guide after Christmas, I’m not able to add any of these items to my Christmas list. I do have a birthday coming up pretty soon, though. For instance, we all no there’s no better way to celebrate 30 years of life than by arranging one’s funeral. And with the theme coffins recommended in Mr. Barry’s gift guide, this can be the ultimate personal gift. Personally, I don’t think there’s a better alternative for me than the “return to sender” coffin. Unless it’s to choose a nice high gloss black or chrome coffin and adorn it with these magnetic flame decals, also recommended in the gift guide. Very stylish, although I suppose it does make the wrong sort of statement about the afterlife.